1. Forest Hills Hotel, Frodsham

 

​There’s a new season.  The season has begun.
Hibernation is over, members who have not succumbed to the summer, have built up a layer of fat around the midriff that will see them through the winter, (and probably much further, to judge by appearances).  Passes have been stamped by partners.
Joe Park and Mark Taylor laid trail but for Mark, family duty called, so he could not attend the meal.  This was a shame, as rumour had it that the talented and beautiful Jan, had knitted him some swimming trunks in the red and white hoops of the club colours.  If rumours are true, and it’s not just complete unwarranted fantasy, then we’ll have to wait 12 months before they make an appearance, unless, of course, we catch a glimpse of them on the evening news.

Jenkinson made an appearance, the first since Rainow.  He’s had part of himself replaced in the intervening period, which interfered with his running.  It’s all sorted now.  He’s opted for a flesh one rather than a metal one…the metal ones tend to last longer but they do make a noise and he didn’t want to annoy his wife.  It’s good to have him back.

For half the route, he enjoyed the company of Rick Ridings, another one who has had bits replaced.  While on holiday in France, he bent down to tie his shoelace and snicker-snick, his hip broke.  Rick wandered into A&E (Aaaah et Eh) and asked if they could possibly pop in a new one?  He’s contemplating having other bits renewed, he’s just got to choose which country to have it done in.

It was for Derek Thomas’ and Phil Leach’s first Forest Hills, I’m not sure that they believed us about the pool and sauna.  Leach stormed round with a small group including Eastwood, who was wearing gloves, scarf and a parka, presumably as part of some new health regime.  Which brings us to the highlight of the day’s events, the “trunks dryer” in the changing room, which Eastwood used to extract 5 litres, (roughly a gallon for older members), of sweat from his running gear.

It was dry and quite warm and vests were the order of the day.  Steve Ruddock, who ran the route with Tim, Murray and Thomas, has been nominated by the committee to have his own separate nude club calendar, which will be on sale, along with the other one, (the crow scarer), in the run up to Christmas.

See you all at new Mills.

(Steve Murray)

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2. New Mills Golf Club, New Mills

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Some not so dry facts…14 deg C and a Met Office, yeller wettage and windage warning, the wettage proving to be the most prominent feature of this run.  M56 closage.  8 miles.  Uppy Downy.  Steak Pie chips peas and gravy.  Choice of fantastic Baked Cheesecake or Millionaire’s Shortcake, (looked and tasted like Billionaire’s, almost too posh to eat).  Changing room and showers; such luxury.

The whole country celebrated VJ Day recently; the club celebrated our own VJ day as Vinnie Jones appeared for his first run of the season.  He has been Chessel Beaching and intends Chessel Beaching again.  Don’t try to stop him.

Des Winterbone has been putting his giant brain to the benefit of mankind recently.  No longer do we have to swap left and right socks or throw them out when a hole appears over the big toe.  With the new “Winterbone Toe Hat”, you can keep the foot’s prime digit, cozy and friction free.  The only downside is the trauma you will feel when you consider all the socks that you have thrown away needlessly over the years.  Only £20 per hat, (development costs overran and there was no money left for market analysis).

George-it’s only about 6 miles and we either walk or run really slowly-Walker, conned Stuart Gainey into running again and it’s only a matter of time before he breaks him down, over the Lakes Weekend.  They both came straight from marshalling Stockport Harriers’ cross country this morning, so kudos to them.

John Jocys did not hand out free beers, a mile from the finish, as Joe Park did at the Frodsham run.  There were several weak excuses: - there isn’t a pub, he’s not celebrating anything, he doesn’t like us, and the beer would have been diluted almost immediately after being poured were some of them.

Tim Norman has said that he too would like his own nude calendar as well, so there’ll be a choice of three to buy for prezzies this Christmas.  Michael Burston also approached the committee on this subject but received a flat, “No”.

Next up, Chinley and all it has to offer.

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3. The Old Hall, Chinley 

 

In the absence of the unusual report writer, who is watching horses in Paris, I have stepped forward to provide a resume.

 

As Storm Amy battered the north and west of the UK, 12 intrepid members made their way to Chinley for what was promised to be an excellent 8.2 mile course.

Two trail layers, Whitehead and Thomas set off at about 11:30, with newly acquired, non absorbent sawdust, fit for an elephant's cage was the promotion !! A third trail layer, West-Samual, had overslept, so drove to Peep-a-Day farm and joined the other two half way around the trail.

First hound off, was Potter, then Ian Brown, followed by Eastwood and Burston, then Walker and young Taylor and last away was Brown D, who may well have been another late riser.

Ridings and Ruddock senior, enjoyed a stroll around the footpaths of the village.

Trail headed straight up onto Chinley Churn, where the runners were battered with ferocious wind and torrential rain. With heads cowered, Eastwood, Ian Brown and Burston missed the turn to descend off the ridge and had to retrace steps.

Trail then headed across the valley to begin the climb up towards South Head. At this point, Potter was experiencing knee problems and returned to base,

The trail skirted around South Head for all but Eastwood, who was feeling spritely, so took in the summit. 

We then descended to The Wash, then along the old Tramway and back to the pub. Soaked and wind blown, the heavens opened once again, as Ian Brown, Burston and Eastwood attempted to change in the car park.

Back in the warmth of the pub, we were joined by the treasurer, Tony Taylor, who had also given West-Samual a lift back to Peep-a-Day to retrieve his car.

We indulged in a bucket sized Steak Pudding or Whale and Chips, and at this point, the late Brown, returned from the run and joined us.

After a couple of pints and some good friendly banter, we departed for home, as Storm Amy continued her efforts to wreak havoc.

 

A most enjoyable day, 

(Mike Eastwood)

 

 

4. Royal Arms, Tockholes

On the trail of the Lonesome Beech(probably)

 

A cool, dull, and dry day welcomed us at the Royal Arms at Ryal Fold for the annual trek around the Moors. Fast Taylor concocted a fast route out across Withnell Moor and Great Hill. The long dry spells during the summer and in the early Autumn meant that the going was generally firm, although there were patches of soft to catch out the unwary.

Leaving the carpark, the trail led past the pub, then right down a track before veering left to head north to another track. Left along this, across the main road and briefly into the Plantation before exiting right to cross a field. The trail here was difficult to lay as the grass was long and thick, and it appears that some indeed had problems. A finger post visible on the horizon tempted some, but the route swerved left around the building and headed back down to the Plantation.

The route dropped down to the dam end of the Upper Roddlesworth reservoir,which it then crossed as it headed out through the Plantation, across a field to Riddlesworth Lane. Along a bit, then across a pasture with a pond and geese to the other main road, which it crossed and headed up onto the Moor.

There are a number of now abandoned and ruined farms on the Moor, and they now have information boards that provided interest and a break from our exertions. One such, Botany Bay (named after the colony as it is the most remote farm on the moor), was passed and was the site of a solitary Beech (probably) tree. We passed by on our way to avoid Solomon's Temple by passing to the north and through the car park at the end of Edge Gate Lane.

Here we joined the motorway that led in a curve past Wheelton Plantation and White Coppice, on past Drinkwaters and up Great Hill. The straight on down, but taking the left path past Pimms to follow the River Roddlesworth, crossing the main road and dropping back into the Plantation. Eventually we left the river and headed up a steep hill back to the car park and the warmth of the pub.

Eventually everyone returned to the pub, ordered drinks and sat for the meal. The Landlady organised us along both sides of a long table. It was great to see Jenks out, and he walked the route, although he took a “short” cut that was the hard way up Great Hill. Hotpot, or Mediterranean Tart, followed by Apple Crumble washed down with some excellent Ale, or tea, coffee, etc.

(Paul Wells)

 

 

5. The Devonshire, Peak Forest

7.8 runnable miles across those lumpy field you see above limestone.

Quite weather free.  Overcast, good visiblity, little or no wind.

Timothy Taylor Golden Best and lovely staff.

The food, looked good, don't know, see the comments section below...oh there isn't one.

 

Adrian West Samuel appeared for a stroll with Jenkinson.  What brought him back?

Had he settled some difference with the club, was it recovery from injury,

Nope, Cheese and Onion Pie.  He ate some, the rest he applied to his knee as a poultice.

He has the only knees worth smelling in the club.

Some trouble, for the Least Slow group, finding the start of the trail.

The "Private, No Access" gave us a clue about where it didn't go.

Eventually, we headed towards Sheffield, but only for few hundred yards, before heading North.

Derek was running like he was on the moon.

Geoff was running like he was on sedatives, but still dragging Murray around.

After a distance, when some height had been gained, Mike Burston appeared like a man staggering out of the jungle in a 1930s Tarzan film, shouting "Beware the devil sawdust that will lead a man to his doom".

Himself, along with Eastwood, Leach, Taylor, Wilson and Walker, had fallen victim.

His body had then let him down and he was returning to base, warning unwary travellers.

He needn't have bothered, the LS party, did such a poor job of following trail that they missed the traps set by Potter.

Trail got more frequent later on in the trail.  John obviously realised he wasn't going to run out.

There were showers. 

Ha, we laugh at showers...and pomegranates and beer mats and sometimes jokes...if we get them.

 

One member of the club was obviously intent on getting rid of a surfeit of apples, (in the absence of lampreys).

How many apples?

None for me thanks.

.... wrong answer

Errr, I don't need any apples thanks very much.

Everybody else has taken apples.

Thanks but no thanks.

Every   body   else   has   taken  apples...

Ermm..

Ev   er   y  bod   y...

Well maybe just a few?

Excellent, excellent, I knew you'd see it my way....in the end.

 

Tony Taylor took a special delivery from Steve so he can provide his usual service for Marple Womens' Institute.  

Tim had his first full meal of the evening.

Potter, on hearing of the woes caused by his sawdust, burned his trainers, (runners' Harakiri).

 

Notice: - The, "The Village People" themed night out has been cancelled after the

arguments about which one would go as the biker.

Maybe we'll do a "Sound of Music" night.

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6. The Bulls Head, Tintwistle

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7. The Black Bull, Edgworth

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8. The Boars Head, Poynton (Championship) 

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9. The Tigers Head, Norley

 

 

 

10. The Robin Hood, Rainow

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11. The Cross Keys, Uppermill

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12. Parkgate Inn, Over Peover

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13. The New Inn, Flash 

 

 

 

14. Lantern Pike, Little Hayfield

 

 

 

15.​ The Bulls Head, Tintwistle (Steeplechase)

 

 

 

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